If my voice in my head stopped talking, Id be lost and desperate as to why this is happening, I would probably question if i was still alive or not. That is not normal for a person and i just would not know how to express my feelings for the situation, or if my brain was able to comprehend and remember that something bad has just happened and that I'm in danger.
Dr. Jill said she had felt and understood she was in great danger when the left side of her brain was functioning again as she was drifting in and out of what she called "La La Land". She was able to hear her self when her brain was functioning as opposed to her voice in her head not being their when she was drifting out. This just tells me that had her brain not gave her a response of danger and that something is wrong she would have not known their was a problem.
Dr. Jill also expresses that when she drifted in and out of "La La Land" she felt lighter as soon as the voice in her head was no longer their and as if any previous cause or stress no longer on her mind she felt a feel of freedom. when she was in the hospital she has said she had found peace and joy within herself as she could no longer juggle the two hemispheres of her brain. she also stated instead of thoughts she felt joy.She said this as if everything else she once had was negative altogether.
Dr. Jills experiences all sounded like get aways or deep deep peace from the world, But i just don't think i could cope with the loss of everything as I'm sure it probably would not matter because I'm not sure id feel i lost anything as is. Rebuilding all over.
Interesting perspective on the role of language on thought and emotion. However, have you considered that perhaps you cannot control what you feel voluntarily should your brain suffer some kind of trauma. Surly not everyone thinks the same and to assume that everyone would experience joy should they find themselves in Dr. Jills position would be too farfetched. This idea would be reinforced by the theory that people with depression, or any mind altering disease, would cause people to feel differently without them having any sort of control over it. So to say that you’d feel “Lost and desperate” wouldn’t be in your power either way. What if perhaps what Dr. Jills was experiencing was not joy, but the lack of sadness and stress? She claims in the podcast that while she was experiencing this phenomenon she had forgotten about all the stress and daily duties she had to do. In addition, Dr. Jills had lost all of her identity. So without identity and daily obligations who are we? By stripping language and therefore removing any human characteristics that come along with it, we have just become another organism living and breathing. So while it is hard to assume what exactly we may feel, should we feel anything at all, if we were to lose sense of what is going on around us, it would be safe to say that perhaps we would feel any signs of distress.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do agree that the loss of internal dialogue could be stressful or cause for concern, there is something so intriguing about experiencing things purely based on the senses and not muddled up by thought. The way Dr. Jill Taylor describes the sun shining while she was in the hospital was almost beautiful. And yes not being able to pre determine dangerous or bad situations may not be ideal, you could also argue that you would be able to make more instinctual decision in those situations, again because you are running solely on your senses.
ReplyDeleteDr. Taylor also talks about her lack of internal though and refers to it as a “La La Land”. How it was almost a place of great inner peace and understanding. It feels somewhat like a sense of nirvana in a way. Albeit a stoke is not the most ideal way to achieve it, Dr. Taylor was able to find a peace that not many can even begin to comprehend. It also subtle hits the same note of “This Is Water” by saying if you take the “I” ness out of the story you’re left at peace. And in Dr. Taylors case im sure relearning language wasn’t an easy feat. But people often say what they would give for a moment of peace.
I can understand why you stated some of your points but at the same time, she never really lost everything. As she stated, “I remembered in pictures. So if somebody would ask me who's the president of the of the United States of America, this is a huge question. So for the next several hours I'd be pondering president. President. President What’s a president? President. And then I would get a picture in my mind of a president as a leader.” She still was able to eventually understand, even though she couldn’t necessarily reply in a timely manner, she still could comprehend what a person was saying. “And then I had to figure out a United States. And so eventually come up with this map in my mind, a picture of the United States.” Even though it wasn’t a normal way of conversation, she still found another method to understand the world which was by taking one concept and finding what other concept matched up. So instead of losing everything, even though she did lose her sense of language, peers and her career, she found an alternative to communicate allowing her to have a new perspective of life and herself.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do agree the loss of function in part of my brain that allows me to cope and sense danger would be tragic, I do not feel I would not become loss and as desperate as you put it or question whether I was really alive. You also point out that it probably wouldn't matter anyway since I wouldn't remember or rather feel as if I lost anything in the first place. I feel as though I would be more at peace and out of touch with reality rather than lost and struggling to cope with the situations brought on by everyday life. I feel as though this ," La La Land ", described by Dr. Taylor serves more as an escape from reality and allows one to escape the stress and hardships of life rather than having to deal with them instead. Now I am not saying that ignorance is bliss, but it does help in allowing us to be free of the everyday toll and worry of life although the consequence is, as you stated, not knowing when there's a problem or danger. Dr. Taylor's experiences are unique in that they offer us a new way in which some people live their everyday lives without really experiencing real worry or desperation. It is an experience that although sounds tragic, might actually have a benefit to it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this statement 100% because I would definitely feel lost and desperate without my voice inside my head. Without the voice inside my head I think I would feel empty and confused and I don't think I could go through life like that. In addition, Dr. Jill does mention the opposite and how she felt peace and I think it is up to the person themselves on their mind-set on how they take the situation. Futhermore, not having a voice inside my head I think I would be lost and confused because I do not know what I would do without my voice inside my head. It is how I function, plan, organize, learn and get through life. Although, losing my voice inside my head, I agree also that I do not think I would feel it, so who knows maybe that is how she reached peace and joy by not noticing it was gone.
ReplyDeleteI understand your perspective to a certain extent. But, I would have to disagree with your statement about being desperate and lost if you experienced what Dr. Jill Taylor experienced after her stroke. She said that, " I just had joy." That statement that she made was an indication that she was at peace, her mind was in a tranquil state-- free from thoughts that would put a strain on her brain. The immediate realization of having to start over and rebuild her life would have stressed her out even more. So being able to say that being free of this voice in her head was sort of a relief for her. Essentially, Dr. Jill was free of stressful thoughts that would weigh down on her mentally.
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